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Mark's Personal Experience
On the morning of Tuesday September 4, 2001, after a pleasure-filled weekend with her family at the lake, my late wife Joanne passed away at just 28 years old. Fortunately, even though we had no idea her death was imminent; our last moments together were very peaceful. Such an experience has taught me to never forget the golden rule–live your life and love those close to you as if it were your last day together.
The hours following Joanne's death were dramatic. Within minutes of her passing I found myself in the midst of a crowd of emergency medical technicians, firemen, policemen, relatives, neighbors and the medical examiner. Within hours of her death I was writing her obituary, selecting her casket, planning the details surrounding her funeral, purchasing a gravesite for both of us and even designing her headstone. The emotions and the lack of time to express them resulted in an overwhelming, surreal experience. Within six hours I had gone from waking up with my wife to beginning the process of burying her.
During this most difficult time, I also had to deal with a mountain of financial details that sprung up quickly. Some might think that such financial details would not be difficult for a Certified Financial Planner™ professional like me; but my grief left little room for logic and practical thinking.
I remember asking myself, "If this is difficult for me, a financial planner, how does the average person even begin to deal with this?" It was in this discovery process that I decided to channel my energy into helping others by writing a book, speaking around the country and rededicating my practice toward guiding as many people as I can through their own financial transitions. The work has given me a new sense of purpose in the wake of a tremendous loss.
For many years, my life was consumed with the day-to-day details of Joanne's death. But slowly, I started back to work, began arranging social engagements and eventually allowed new people into my life, while still remaining close to Joanne's family and friends. While I will never completely recover from the loss of Joanne, I have learned to accept it and continue on with my life. After going through the long, complex and extremely difficult process of grieving, I now have been able to create a new life for myself.
 In 2003, I married Kathy, a wonderful woman who has brought light, laughter and a world of possibilities to my life. How lucky I was to find two incredible women in one lifetime!! So, my final message to you is that there is hope for every survivor!
Juli-Ann Cialone Photography
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